Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Robots Move Forward

John and I have spent the last few days getting ready for our big cross country trip. We've been packing all the things we need to spend nine days on the road with our family of five and our little puppy. We've packed clothes and toiletries, bedding and books, swimsuits and dog treats. We've taken down all our pictures and curtains and unhooked all of our electronics.

Today I am sitting at my dining room table as two men pack everything we didn't squeeze into our two cars. This is the last time we'll move like this, strangers swooping in to wrap all our worldly goods while I sit twiddling my thumbs feeling like I should be doing something to help. Don't get me wrong, it's so nice to not have to spend weeks getting everything packed, while Lilly stands behind you unpacking everything. Even if she watches you pack a box, as soon as it's taped closed, she's certain it contains a present you are trying to keep from her.

I am so sad to be leaving this beautiful place and all our wonderful friends. This is the greenest and cleanest place I've ever lived. It's also the place John and I reconnected. Once we had respite care, we got to date again! We got to take Hana and Ria out to do things that normal families take for granted,but that had been impossible for us. We reconnected with old Navy friends and made new ones. It's been a great three years.

I am also enormously happy to be leaving. We have been so far away from our family and so many of our friends. Even though this place holds so many wonderful memories for us, it also holds some of the worst memories we have. This is where Ria shook for weeks on end, where her body betrayed her and put her in a wheelchair part time. This is where John almost lost his foot (though that is a fantastic story to tell). This is where Lilly went over the edge and spent six weeks in the psychiatric unit at Children's in Seattle. Six weeks of driving an hour and a half to see Lilly then having to walk out on her again and drive another hour and a half home. Six weeks of lying to John  so he wouldn't worry while he was at sea.  Leaving Lilly in that hospital was the hardest thing I've ever done.

This is a bittersweet move for us all. I know we're leaving some amazing people and places, but I can't help but be hopeful. I'm looking forward and I think I see blue skies ahead.

So here we are, robots, learning that parting really is such sweet sorrow.

1 comment:

  1. One of the best things that has happened to us during our 16 years with the Navy is moving in right next door to your family in Charleston. Your friendship means so much to us, and I can't tell you how very much we have enjoyed living near you these last three years. But knowing you like I do, it is clear that the time has come for you to return to New Jersey. It is the place that has held onto your heart over the last 10 years. It is where you want to be. It is where you belong. I can't wait to bring the kids to visit you all. We can eat that water ice that you are always talking about while the kids play in the pool. Travel safe, my friends. We love you!

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